Sigh No More

"Every day I will praise you
     and extol your name for ever and ever."    Psalm 145: 2


 I will be the first to admit that self-motivation is not one of my strong points. This is obviously a hindrance when my degree depends upon the fact that I learn to manage my time well. Being a History student doesn't help this situation, with only around 10 hours contact time a week, the free time rarely equates to "independent study" time. It's more like "independent sleepy, eaty, watch a filmy" time. A lot of time is spent reflecting on how productive my day has been with disappointment. 


OK, so it seems that all I do is pay three grand a year to lounge around ... this is not true! But I will admit that up until recently I have gotten by with only doing what is required of me, and its been less than enjoyable. For a few months its been hard for me to find motivation and interest in my course, despite the fact that I'm confident that I'm in the right place, and doing what God has called me to do. 


A while ago, one of my non-Christian friends criticised me (in a friendly and helpful way, I should add) on spending more time on my faith than my studies. It's true that I would rather spend my time reading scripture, in prayer, worshipping or talking about God than writing an essay on the Korean War, but it really struck me that he saw these two aspects of my life as separated and in conflict with one another. Whenever I think about my faith in God, I had assumed that it filled up every part of me, and that it informed all aspects of my life. But the truth is, I had shut Him out of my academic career for a long time. 


Scripture calls us to be dwelling on God at all times and to do everything for His glory.
 --> "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."   1Corinthians 10:31
With this in mind, serving God can come in many forms. If we are truly cross-centred men and women, then we should see Christ's love and glory filling every aspect of our lives until it overflows, and we should be worshipping and praising God constantly for this. Now I'm not suggesting that we have to all get together and have a worship marathon that lasts for days (although that would be amazing, if not extremely exhausting) but finding time to thank God for the little things, the things we take for granted, like toothpaste, and the opportunity to talk to people at the bus stop, or for his protection as we cross the road, reminds us of His constant presence in our everyday lives.


When we are called or placed somewhere by the Lord, He obviously has plans for us, and lessons for us to learn. In my case, God put on this course for a reason, and although His motives may not yet be apparent, He requires me to give my all, for His glory. What I have learnt is that serving and worshipping Him isn't always about singing songs or volunteering to help out in your community. Doing what He has called us to do, and following His agenda daily is ultimately the best way to serve God's purpose and become kingdom builders. 


A few weeks ago, I had a bit of a revelation. If God truly does know my heart better than I do, and has plans for me, why would he send me to do something that I am going to fail at or have no motivation to do?  And even though many parts of me still want to scream when faced with reading a journal article on middle class conciousness in revolutionary France, entering into such a task with the thought that, despite myself, God truly has given me a passion for my subject and an enquiring mind to learn more about the world I live in, helps me to find enjoyment and motivation. In the end, what more motivation do I need than a chance to serve the Lord who I love and draw nearer to Him? 


Maybe sometimes we all need to take a step back and think about the areas of our lives where we know God is prompting and nudging us to do something but we feel a lack of motivation. 


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
   in all your ways submit to Him, and He will direct your paths."      Proverbs 3:5-6


Peace and Love